Today is or was one of my favorite days of the year. I certainly enjoy being spoiled, sent flowers, and anything else that went with the day. The problem was that it was only one day a year and I would wake up the next morning wondering why we designate one day a year to show each other love.
This year, like the past 2 years, I am single and did not receive roses or balloons or treats. I tried to ignore this day and even have been negative towards it. What I have learned is that I am in love with the idea of being in love and romance. The reality is that's all it is, a fantasy. Something I dream about but can not have.
Here's what I have to accept. I have to accept all the things I have learned these past few years as truth. Things like I have to love myself before I can truly love someone else. This can be a hard concept but it really is true. At this point in my life I need to continue on my journey for me. I can't look around at all the couples who love each other and spoil each other this day and feel sadness and guilt. Yes, guilt. I have convinced myself that I am incapable of loving others but I am often reminded that I love my children so I can love. Maybe I am not ready to open my heart to anyone else yet. Whether it be romance, friendships, or any other type of relationship. What I do know is that I need to learn to love and care for myself before anyone else can enter the picture.
Here's to celebrating taking care of me!
