Respect, Politics, and Me

In case you didn't already know, there was an election yesterday, lol! It has caused quite a stir at work and on fb, like it does every time there is one. Some people are very opinionated and choose to share them no matter who's feelings they may hurt or offend. I find it surprising such hatred coming out of people's mouths over the election. 

This has brought me to reflect a lot. I have been thinking and thinking the last few weeks leading up to the election, not only about who I am going to vote for, but why people would be so rude. Yes, everyone has their own opinion and I respect that. What I don't like is the mean-ness that comes out of people's mouths when their opinion doesn't come to truth. Obama won this year and I can think of many reasons as to why that is. Personally, I had to choose the lesser of two evils. While I feel I am not fully informed and even found it hard to find reliable sources, I still felt the importance of voting. It is my right, it is our right to vote no matter the outcome. 

I am not and will not express who I voted for or why purely based on the people's very strong reactions to no matter who I say. I have friends that are on both sides to either way I will hear it. I just assume stay out of all the negativity. 

So what does all this mean to me and my recovery? Wow. Such inner reflection on how I treat myself. The name calling, the disrespect, the hatred I show and take out on my own body, choices, thoughts, etc. How mean am I to myself? Truthfully? Very!!!! I respect other people's opinions, views, knowledge, and who they are. I love to even listen to other people's point of view and take what they say fully and reflect on it. I would never call someone the names I call myself or hate them as I hate myself. This is a very sad reality and nothing new. Old news really. 

Since the beginning of my recovery, I have been told over and over again to be nicer to myself. That I have to show myself respect and quit saying things to myself especially if I wouldn't say them to anyone else. I have an opinion of myself that I don't respect, yet I can respect others opinions about anything else. Other people have opinions about me that I don't respect. I don't accept compliments very well nor do I believe them. Someone like me couldn't possibly be all those things. 

The truth is though that other's are more right about me than I am about myself. This negative inner voice has been around for so long that I don't know how to get rid of it. Yes, I have tools, tricks, and even other people telling me different but that doesn't make it go away. It's a constant battle to show myself as much love as I show my girls and as much respect as I show other people. I wish this were easy and I could take my own advice towards myself!!!!