My head has been spinning about what to write next. Mainly because I feel judged and criticized over my blog. Maybe there isn't a clear understanding about the purpose and or maybe I should go a different direction. I am not sure but either way I am confused as to what to write about. So maybe I will just reiterate my purpose and make some changes all at the same time.
Since I started my first blog, my intention was for it to be raw. No editing, no rereading, and no erasing. Why? Because if I did I would erase the whole thing, due to my perfectionism, and it wouldn't serve any purpose. A couple years ago I wanted to write my experiences in recovery from an eating disorder so that others would know that they aren't alone. I know that I feel alone with so much of my feelings and thoughts and am afraid to share them all, even on here. No matter what I feel or say, I wanted to open myself up so others that were isolated and alone had some sort of feeling of togetherness, even if it is behind a computer.
I started this new blog about perspective to put a positive light into what I feel. That no matter how bad my thoughts or feelings were, there was always something positive, a new perspective on them. I am learning to turn things around into something new. Yes, I have bad days and yes I feel so alone much of the time but I know that somewhere out there is someone else feeling those same devastating thoughts thinking they are alone also. If I can just change my perspective and give someone else a little hope than I have served my purpose on this blog.
I know I have a lot to learn still and I know that my days can get pretty dark. I know that this is my journey of learning, growing, accepting, and changing. I know I will make mistakes, make poor decisions, offend some people, and even be imperfect.
This is my journey, the good, the bad, and the ugly, in part anyway.
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